So...i've read a lot on here that sometimes Cancers will say things just to see what your reaction is. To see if you'll say what they want you to say. But, how do you know when they're testing you? The cancer I know has tested me before, I felt, but I don't know if he was doing it this time.

So, we have some history...but he said he didn't want a relationship, and he knew I wanted one. So months went by and we had another intimate talk. He said he still isn't ready for a relationship. He essentially knows he's going to act like a typical cancer. He said he would want to go 5 days without contacting anyone, he'd want to be able to go out and talk to as many people as he wanted to without anyone getting on his back.

Anyway, then he said he wasn't the person I thought he was. I said 'how?' and he said 'well, i've got a horrible temper...' and I laughed and said thats fine, I have a bit of a temper too. I told him how much I missed him when I went traveling, and i told him I really cared. He said "care how??" and I said "well....I want you to be happy, I really care about what happens to you and whats happening in your life-" and then he cut me off and said "No- you can't care about me like that." and I was like "what???" shocked that he didn't believe me, or maybe he was just in disbelief.

Then I told him I loved talking to him, that he had a good heart. I said I wished I could talk to him more. He said "You can talk to me whenever you like" and I said "no, because your always so picky about when we get to hang out! It has to be after work, raaandomly!" which is true. He was being very weird when it came to us hanging out. He refused to set dates and would only do it if it happened randomly. He just kind of chuckled...then I said that I couldn't help liking him even though I tried not to. I told him when I first met him I had just finished going through a lot of bulllshit with another guy, so I wasn't even thinking about liking anyone. But I saw he had a good heart and couldn't help it. He said "You know that bulllshit you went through with that guy? I'm gonna do that to you...." and I said. "You have a good heart. I know you do." then he said "I can't give you what you want...." and I don't remember what we said after that, but at some point he whispered "....we wouldn't be good together..." and I said "I think we'd be great together." and he didn't respond. He passed out shortly after that (we were in bed, at his house. It was like 5 am.), I think...I don't remember everything, LOL.

The thing he also kept saying is that he thought I was too young. Or, maybe he just said 'your really young'. I dont remember. But, the thing is, I'm only 2 years younger then him. And all the people ive ever known have said im very mature for my age. But I did also let him know that I was a virgin, and he seemed to be put off by that. Which surprised me. He said I was young in body and in mind, so I said "great....your judging me because I've never had **** before." and he said "your waiting for love....thats amazing." So I can't tell if he's put off by it or if he actually likes it. I asked if he dated older girls, and he said usually he did, yes. But then he also said the same night that he was holding himself back, and he'd held back before, and that he really wanted me. But he wouldn't take advantage of me, although I had no idea how much he wanted to.

Wow....I'm sorry that's so long. If this was any other guy, i;d just say forget it and move on. But like...this doesn't make sense with how he acts around me. He's gone through weird stages. Like, he always gives me 'meaningful stares', he acts nervous around me sometimes, at one point he even like....stopped talking to me, but would be near me?? Like, he would come sit beside me...but not say a word. We'd be out at a bar with friends, and he'd come stand beside me, from across the room....and not say anything. If I was sitting with other people, he would sit across from me instead of with me, but stare at me. Not to mention it looks like he gets jealous or upset when other guys flirt with me. if I was talking to a guy alone at a bar (he won't do this if i'm talking to someone at work, only when we're out), he'd come up to us and go "whats going on over here??". That's his line.

So...testing or not??

Sounds frustrating, but I do that all the time to my about- to- be- hubby. I do it just to see if he would **** up or say something stupid then I have a reason to argue.

Sounds like he might be doing the same. He likes to test peoples nerves, I say throw it back at him, see how he reacts.

Aqua bubbles -Aww, thats so sweet! And kind of what I'm feeling. Like, I see the prize more and more. I know he's a super sweet person with an amazing heart. its just, he literally is putting me through helll. The scary part is not knowing if your going to get that diamond in the end. But its good to hear that story. It gives me hope :D

Nypheria - LOL! You have the fire version of cancer tendencies. We do it to start fights, they do it to test our resolve. We are an interesting race, humans are. But this is also reassuring. The only problem is, he's a sensitive water sign. I dont think he could handle some Aries fire power. It would probably set me back 100 steps.

mstarx - Aww man....that sucks. Yah, I didnt realize any of this crazy cancerness until I found this website, among others. That's when I started paying closer attention. It isn't over, though. You can still move forward, you just have to start reassuring him all on your own, I guess. It's so difficult for fire signs to play this game. I'm only now, after a freakin year of this business, starting to realize how I have to do things. I've only now managed to find the patience to do what I think has to be done. it essentially goes against everything in our star dna.

Ohhh Maria, he’s just warming up. He hasn’t said no outright, so there is bound to be more hurdles coming your way. Right now you can’t expect to be treated as a girlfriend, and he can’t treat you as just a friend. So what does he do? He doesn't text you back.

Just from what you’ve said here, it sounds like he has experienced jealousy in the past and he didn’t like it. There was either too much drama, or he was made to feel guilty about who he is or isn’t, and he felt confined. Being accepted for who he is, is part of what reassurances are all about and the thing is you have to be honest about it because he can always come back at you for that.

Mariaria, I think he is being as kind as he can, and truly enjoys spending some time with you, but doesn't see a real future in it. he's said it more then once , i remember your story from a few months back, . Why don't you give him a test? STOP TRYING (I had to) and if he doesn't come back with a better attitude and more appreciation for you, let him go. I went through the same thing (kind of) with my cancer until I recently refused to play the game for another day, I wasn't just saying or doing anything to manipulate him, I really was sick and tired of his S**t. He pushed me so far that I didn't even care what happened anymore, it was when I gave up on anything more then a friendship that he showed consistancy. On the same token he's NEVER told me that he didn't want a relationship or made a bucnh of bs excuses, he was good with the talk and disappered for the follow thru. I hate to be like I'm high and mighty now, just because he's been a good boy, but sometimes it's not complicated, IF he wants you, He needs to act like it or someone elese will, YOU MUST BELIEVE THAT. He is not the last cola in the dessert. There are other sweet, handsome, sensitive guys who would love to be in a relationship. Once you believe that you can do better, so will he, and he'll shape up or ship out.