I have been doing alot of inner healing work for almost a year and I am sick of this process. I thought that in a year, I would be in good shape. Instead, it has been almost a year and a half and still I am not in a relationship yet. My money situation is improving, I am back in school and I am taking the steps needed to be happy and yet I feel that God is purposely denying me a relationship. I see women who have not even done any inner work getting married and I am still alone. WHy is this happening? I am tired of this healing process and I can't be alone just because I am healing. Why I trying so hard to heal and yet the one thing I want is not happening. This is a year 2 for me and everything says that I am ready for a relationship.I see women with self-esteem worse than mine and yet they are in not to bad relationships. What is happening?
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Anything Goes » Lenght of time for inner healing
I don't believe that God would purposely deny you a relationship. It sounds as if you are on the right track. Your currently in school and your finacial situation is getting better. I don't think God wants you to be alone. It sounds like you have alot going for you right now. Keep up the good work. Love will find you when you least expect it. The other women you talk about with low self-esteem in relationships are most likely in shallow relationships. Sometimes people get into a relationship for the wrong reasons. Perhaps that is why it is taking longer for you to find a good relationship. God wants to make sure that it is the right relationship for you and doesn't want you to suffer any hardships. lol
Thank you for your advice. I promised myself six months of healing and I extended it to a year. I am just frustrated because I meet people and yet it is not working. I just want to make sure I am doing the right thing. Thank you very much.
I am so sorry that you feel like it is a lost cause for you. What will happen is that when you least expect it things will all fall into place. I know because it happened to me and I thought things would never heal for me. My husband died unexpectedly and he was my rock for 55 years. My whole world tumbled and it has been two and a half years. I have been in a relationship for eight months now and it has been rocky at times but i finally came to the realization that all i have to do is to relax and things will fall into place and they have. Just remember that God is still looking out for you even when you think He isnt. He holds you in the palm of his hand at all times. Always remember that. I wish you all the luck in the world. When things finally fall into place you will wonder what all the fuss was about and why you wasted energy worrying about it.
The healing process is a lifetime process. Although you still might receive a husband whom is right for you while in the process. What you mean is perhaps a healing process from a particular past experience since you expected it to last only a year. No, the healing of us humans are lifelong and we are still not perfect when we die. Even if we and other human beings feel so.
Just you let go of that feeling that God is punishing you or denying you what you want. No, God is not the one denying it. It would then be something inside of you that has not made him arrive into your life. It could be that there is a pattern of expectations that is preventing you from receiving him into your life. If you complain about your situation, it would be like praying for the situation to continue. So that does not help. When you do that, that is called poverty concienceness.
When you focus on the fact that you dont have, that is what is going to continue. When you focus on the fact that you have or you just do NOT focus on the fact that you do not have, then there is nothing inside of you that is preventing that husband to arrive into your life.
Continue to be receptive for inner change in trust that God is with you.
This is so true Hanged Woman. Learning to focus isn't easy but is essence of everything. You draw negativity if your thoughts go that way and visa versa.
Someone once told me to take a walk to a area that has water (river, lake) and voice aloud what you would like to come your way and let the wind take those words away. If it's for you it will come your way.
how do you know she has not done any inner work? she might say so, but how do you know for sure? the universe might send her someone to teach her a lesson that will require her do some inner work if she hasn't already. when will this happen? only the universe knows. And just because someone has low self esteem doesn't mean they can't have a good relationship. in fact the universe might send them just the right person to improve their self esteem.
I didn't have high self esteem either when I got married. since I never had the luxury of great boyfriends and great paying jobs. Hubby on the other hand, always have money, always get his hands on great paying jobs, not just jobs to make a living. he always knows what to do when people cheat on him, relationship or job. I knew what to do, but not always successful at it. We were chatting for 8 months and now married for almost 9 yrs. He certainly is not a spiritual person, but he is one that is my complete opposite in many ways that we can fulfill in each other what we are lacking in ourselves.
If you are trying so hard to heal, then you will not be healed completely. Even a physical wound takes time to heal. Trying to speed a healing process will cause another problem to arise. Same with psyche. Until the universe sees that you are ready for another relationship, it will not send you the right person your way. The universe knows you to the core, it knows the right person for you even if you don't see him that way or you don't see him yet.
Healing process is different time and process for each person. You can't say you will heal in 6 months, a year etc. The universe doesn't bow to 24/7 rule because it is human definition of time. It will know when you are healed which means you are ready for a new relationship. How or when you are ready, it's your choice.
I would suggest keeping positive thoughts and sending only them out. Impatience, worry, fear, anger, they are all negative energies. The universe sends you back all the energies you sent out. If you are sending negativities, you will feel even more miserable and will add more injury that will take longer to heal. There is time for everything. I don't know what you have done for inner healing, but it doesn't seem you are healed yet, at least not completely. You might want to try meditation, it will help bring peace into your mind.
Namaste Ctibaaga. Was the purpose of your healing to find a mate? Was it to heal what needed to be healed, for its own sake? or something else? What caused you to begin a process of self healing and personal enrichment?
If you ask for a mate now you will receive the mate you can have now. Your frustration isn't so much based on the lack of mate, it is the perception that things aren't working the way you want them to work, with an end result you expect. If you turn your focus to the process of healing and let that be okay, you're process will accelerate, and you'll ulitmately be dumped on the shore, fresh and clean and happy to be picking seaweed from your hair.
If you insist upon anything, you'll find that G-d balks. If you focus on the task at hand, and say, Yo, big G, let's bust on this I can handle it, you'll get to the warm sand much more quickly. And He may throw you a clean beach towel, too. : )
Also, note what you're working on and how much. You may be over focused on healing and need to incorporate a 'break' for yourself to play, flirt, watch a movie, or sleep twelve hours on a Saturday.
Trust your own process; trust to know when you're done.
You may find that what you are asking for is Silver, when what G-d desires for you is Gold.
love and light,
Ahliyah
let the thought go of what you want so that the universe can deliver it to you, you are hanging onto your wish, see a beautiful colored ballon with your wish for a loving beautiful relationship in that balloon, watch it rise to the universe let the string go, trust that your wish will come and say well thats that organised, now where was i, you will get this you just gotta let go
Hey Ctibaaga, These is so much good advise up there... Listen with your heart not your mind! My Dr. told me it is "stinkin thinkin" which keeps one in the "doubt" mode or not the healing mode. It is so easy to fall back into our old form of thinking "poor me" and it stops anything that you truly (deep down in your heart) desire. Patience is a key word... KNOW it will happen at the RIGHT time. AND when it does, it might not be a FOREVER thing, but something to help you get to know who you truly are. I say this only becasue I have / am still there.
All the above information is to guide you to your inner self healing. I am sure we all reaching out to guide your feeling. Check youself and your thinking... Law of Attraction... Blessings, Love and Lots and Lots of Light
